2017 THROUGH MY LENS…

2017 went by in a flash, but the memories made will forever linger in the battlefield of the mind. Linger in the mind as a lesson learnt and not as a torture as I’ve always done in my life. Over thinking every crumb of the ‘why this, why that, why me’, mistakes and all that jazz that have been some what of a setback in my life. If people were being rewarded in pennies for over thinking I would’ve been damn rich by now. -And this is the reason why I decided to drop it like a bad habit that it is.

Credit to the fellow who created the image below. I don’t know what he or she went through last year, but I can definitely relate.

Lets get into it;

Trust No One: The bible couldn’t have been more right when it stated in Psalm 118:8 that, “It is better to put your trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man.” Finding a job after my teacher’s training was so challenging because today’s employers want people to come with thousand years (exaggerated, but you get the point) of experience. Like wtf!! Who should train someone for you to use em? I found this attitude so frustrating! God being so good I got a job and three months of being in the job, a colleague put a complaint against me of physically abusing a child. My world came crushing down!! I was suspended with no idea exactly what I had done wrong. This colleague was someone I trusted. If anyone will stab me in the back, she was the last person I would’ve thought. Prior to that incident she exhibited some attitudes that made me question her as a human being. I was kept in the dark and treated unfairly which had a great emotional toil on me. God being so good, I found a no-nonsense union rep. to represent me. After a couple of meetings and a long investigation, I was found not guilty of the allegations. I was actually trying to save a child from getting hurt, so I had to react fast. She only saw the bit and just acted/blew everything out of proportion. This experience shook me.

I was also betrayed by a good friend who’s practically a sister to me. I confided in her and she carelessly mishandled the information. I didn’t mind the fact that she said what I said, but adding bits that were untrue and leaving out her contribution to what was said was just straight up disappointing. Messed up a relationship built for years between sisters.

These two incidents brought me in tears and gave me sleepless nights. -And when I’m brought to that level, that’s a damn pain and lesson. Watching who I surround myself with and confide in.

Mistakes: This is probably something no human being will ever stop doing.  We can only strive to do better. In 2017 I strived not to punish myself for the things I should have done that I didn’t do and the things I shouldn’t have done that I did. I’ve come to the understanding that I’m a work in progress and that is okay. I am build from every mistake I’ve ever made and the end product is what’s important.

Stop Pleasing People: I’m among the people who wear their heart on their sleeve, see the good in people and have a giving spirit. It is just who I am, but with so much disappointments and taken for granted, it made me question if it is healthy to be this kind of person. Maybe its a fear of failure, fear of rejection or both. Regardless of the reason, it was time to pull back. I had to learn how to say no and realise that I’ve a choice. Sometimes one is being manipulated, but you’re some how blind to even realise this. Out of this I’ve learnt to put myself first and not feel guilty about it. I mean why not? Everyone else around me is selfish and so me me me. It was time to grow some kahunas and not give a hoot.

A lot happened in 2017, but in a nutshell they fall under the above three pointers.

Can you relate to any of this? Any advice? Share a lesson you learnt in 2017.

Don’t forget to connect on other social media platforms.

 

Much Love!

DANKE…

 

82 Comments

  1. Emily
    January 6, 2018 / 10:32 pm

    I think remembering we are all a work in progress is something we could all do with reminding now and again! I’m sorry you had such a rough time at work, I can’t imagine how it must have felt! Onwards and upwards in 2018 Missy!

    http://www.musingsandmore.co.uk

    • Missy May
      Author
      January 7, 2018 / 3:36 pm

      True that Emily!! Worst experience so far for sure. Amen to onwards and upwards.
      Thank you 🙂

  2. January 6, 2018 / 11:44 pm

    Very true, we are all a work in progress so rather than beating ourselves up because we are not where we think we should be, we should enjoy every day as it comes and aim to to better. Great read x
    http://www.dobettereverydayblog.wordpress.com

    • Missy May
      Author
      January 7, 2018 / 3:35 pm

      I couldn’t agree more Maria. Thanks much for the contribution. Appreciated!

    • Missy May
      Author
      January 7, 2018 / 6:04 pm

      I couldn’t agree more Courtney. Worst experience ever, but thank God its behind me now.
      Thanks so much.

  3. January 7, 2018 / 10:53 am

    Time to be selfish Sis. Numero uno is who needs you more. You are not the first and please know you will not be the last to have these disappointments. Enjoy every minute starting yesterday.

    • Missy May
      Author
      January 7, 2018 / 3:34 pm

      Heard ya sis!! You’re right and thanks much. Sure will!

    • Missy May
      Author
      January 7, 2018 / 3:33 pm

      You’re so right Mariya! Noted and thank you.

    • Missy May
      Author
      January 7, 2018 / 3:32 pm

      Happy new year Filipa! Thank you and likewise! 🙂

  4. January 7, 2018 / 4:13 pm

    Wow, sorry to hear you went through so much. The lady who reported you without hearing your side first, and your friend who betrayed you are sadly examples of people we all come across.

    Please just continue to hold your head up sis, like you said, trust no one but God. 2018 will be much better for you!

    For me, 2017 took me to hell and back. I haven’t yet been able to divulge the details on my blog. but I hope one day to share.

    Madeline

    http://www.madelinewilsonojo.com

    • Missy May
      Author
      January 7, 2018 / 6:01 pm

      Sadly so sis and I’m glad this is behind me. Now I just have to summon the courage to talk to this friend again. I don’t wanna hold a grudge.
      Amen to a better 2018.
      Aww…sorry sis and hope you get there soon. Keep your head up.
      Appreciate ya and thanks much for your meaningful contribution always.

  5. Jodie
    January 7, 2018 / 5:51 pm

    What an incredible time, Missy. I’m glad things got straightened out at work, and it’s so sad when that happens with friends. I used to take it so personally, but I’m finally realizing that people are people (it’s only taken me 50 years to come to this conclusion….)
    XOXO
    Jodie
    http://www.jtouchofstyle.com

    • Missy May
      Author
      January 7, 2018 / 5:58 pm

      Oh yes thank God. Lol to taken you 50yrs to come to conclusion. Well thanks for sharing with me. Noted for sure!!
      Appreciate ya and thanks much.

  6. Carrie at Curly Crafty Mom
    January 7, 2018 / 5:58 pm

    Oh goodness, I can’t believe what you went through at your work. I really think that some people will do whatever they can to move to the top, even if it means crushing those below you. I’m not sure if this is what this particular colleague was doing. As for the friend, my husband’s best friend from preschool dropped us this last year, not sure why… but, he also left his wife, so maybe he’s going through some personal changes. You really just can never predict people, you know? Don’t let it beat yourself up, just remember you know who you are and you’re an amazing person!

    Carrie
    curlycraftymom.com

    • Missy May
      Author
      January 7, 2018 / 6:08 pm

      I couldn’t believe it too Carrie. At some point I thought it was a race issue because of her attitude towards another black colleague and I. Having said that, she was the first person to embrace me when I started working there. So I was confused and shocked!! Anyways thank God it’s all behind me now.
      You can never predict people indeed. Taken that on board for sure. Thanks so much for the meaningful contribution.
      Appreciated Carrie!

  7. January 7, 2018 / 6:15 pm

    We will always make mistakes! We just need to learn from them thats all! I’m totally with you about pleasing people! We need to stop doing things just because its what people what. We need to do it for us!

    -Didier
    http://www.didieryhc.com

    • Missy May
      Author
      January 8, 2018 / 5:16 pm

      Pure truth Didier!! Thanks for the contribution.

  8. January 7, 2018 / 7:47 pm

    The hard times are there for everyone trying to wade forward with more selfish eyes green of you this makes you feel good I understand you
    Happy New year dear

    • Missy May
      Author
      January 8, 2018 / 5:17 pm

      Thank you hun!
      Happy new year. 🙂

    • Missy May
      Author
      January 8, 2018 / 5:14 pm

      Good to hear Dominique. Thank you! 🙂

  9. Panty Buns
    January 8, 2018 / 1:24 am

    Yes,I can relate to a lot of the things you went through. Being falsely accused, whether by parents or by people in authority can scar a person and make it far more difficult to trust anyone – especially if those experiences occurred in childhood.
    Some of your experiences were obviously very painful emotionally. I suspect there are a lot of people who don’t and won’t understand how something like that feels unless it happens to them.
    I’m afraid my own way of dealing with things like that is probably not the best. I avoid many negative contacts by being reclusive – but I probably miss out on a lot because of it.
    As far as difficulty getting jobs, I wound up taking low paying, physical and sometimes dangerous jobs or ones with unhealthy conditions (coal dust, chemical dust and fumes) when I was younger.
    I just remembered part of the lyrics to song by Ricky Nelson saying “ya can’t please everyone, so you got to please yourself’.
    It’s nice to be giving and caring, but we can’t help others if we neglect ourselves.
    Best wishes for a more pleasant, healthy, happy, fashiontastic year 2018!!!

    http://www.full-brief-panties.blogspot.com/

    • Missy May
      Author
      January 8, 2018 / 5:41 pm

      Wow ain’t that something!! Thanks so much for the meaningful contribution. You’ve made some valuable point here and you know what, I’ll take em on board. You might miss out on a lot by being reclusive, but its also a form of self protection. Ha!! I will take that. Ricky Nelson has a point for sure.
      You’re right about that.
      Amen and wishing you all the same. Appreciate this comment a lot.

  10. January 8, 2018 / 3:26 am

    It is not possible to please everyone no matter how hard you try. True friends are few but once you have found them, they are real gems! Wish you the best and hope this new year will bring more hope, love and peace.

    • Missy May
      Author
      January 8, 2018 / 5:19 pm

      Thanks so much Nancy! You’re right!! Amen and same to you.

  11. January 8, 2018 / 5:05 am

    Wow. I too feel like I can relate to that quote, there were good and bad parts to 2017. Though I tend to focus on the bad (as we do). Sorry to hear about your job. That must have been such an ordeal for you. Those kinds of accusations are very heavy indeed and so careless of her to just throw about without understanding the facts. They say people come into our lives for a reason. Her’s will come to you one day. It doesn’t make sense now but it will someday.

    Happy New Year to you, may 2018 be much kinder and overflowing with happy moments.

    Sxx
    daringcoco.com

    • Missy May
      Author
      January 8, 2018 / 5:32 pm

      Aw sorry to hear that, but thank God 2017 is behind us. We will be positive this year and we will move all the way up.
      Thanks so much Sonia. Happy new year and amen. :-))

  12. January 8, 2018 / 7:50 am

    Oh my gosh, how terrible of these people to treat you this way! 🙁 I hope 2018 surrounds you with truly good people and that you have an absolutely awesome year!

    http://www.jeannieinabottleblog.com

    • Missy May
      Author
      January 8, 2018 / 5:20 pm

      Thank God its behind me now. Amen to good people and awesome year. Thank you Jeanne.

  13. January 8, 2018 / 9:19 am

    Wow that is just awful!! I have experience back stabbing in the workplace by someone I actually helped get the job for at one of my old jobs. It’s crazy how people will act to feel better about themselves. In my experience, it’s better to distance yourself from people who act too friendly right away. The kind that spill all their life out and expect you to do the same, just to use that information against you, or to have something to hold against you. I feel that relationships grow naturally over time, and if someone does you wrong one time, they are bound to do it again at some point. Your attitude is right, and putting yourself first is not a bad thing. You know you’re a good person and that is all that matters. I wish for you to have a better year and a bright future ahead of you sis!!

    xo,
    Tania

    • Missy May
      Author
      January 8, 2018 / 5:28 pm

      Wow ain’t that something sis!! You’re right about everything. Thank God these are behind us. Its all the way up from here.
      Amen Amen Amen sis!! I wish you a better year of good health, peace and happiness sis.
      Thanks so much for your meaningful contribution. Appreciated!

  14. January 8, 2018 / 11:40 am

    It sounds like you learned so much in 2017. It’s so true that almost no one can be trusted, but in the end you come out stronger. We’re human and we will keep making mistakes – but we learn! Pleasing people can be a handicap, I’m still struggling with that too. We can do it! Happy 2018, love!

    xx http://www.qustomquinns.com/blog

    • Missy May
      Author
      January 8, 2018 / 5:13 pm

      Thanks much for your meaningful contribution Quinn. You’ve a good point there. Happy 2018 dear!

    • Missy May
      Author
      January 8, 2018 / 5:11 pm

      Good to hear that and thanks beautiful.

  15. January 8, 2018 / 2:21 pm

    I’m sorry that you had some bad experiences last year, I hope that 2018 brings you more happiness!
    Have a lovely day 🙂
    Rosanna x

    • Missy May
      Author
      January 8, 2018 / 5:11 pm

      Thank you Rosanna and yes, 2018 will be good.
      Have a lovely day too. 🙂

  16. January 8, 2018 / 3:56 pm

    Yes, I also talk about how to trust others we may have a big disappointment in my birthday post. I regret what happened to your co-worker, unfortunately there are people capable of everything …
    xoxo

    marisascloset.blogspot.com

    • Missy May
      Author
      January 8, 2018 / 5:09 pm

      Thank you Marisa and yeah you’re right.

  17. January 8, 2018 / 5:11 pm

    this was hard to read and I cant even imagine what you had to go through last year! People are just people and there are so many nasty souls out there. I actually left my job last year because of two nasty individuals as I chose not to waste my priceless life dealing with people like this.
    I just hope that this year will bring you more joy and happiness xx

    http://www.elegantduchess.com/2018/01/08/modern-romantics-lace-panel-dress-velvet-over-the-knee-boots/

    • Missy May
      Author
      January 10, 2018 / 4:22 pm

      You’re right about that. Dealing with people like in a work place is not good emotionally and mentally. The best thing is to leave indeed!!
      I hope so too and amen. All the bes to you too beautiful. Thanks much for your comment.

  18. January 8, 2018 / 6:22 pm

    dont be so hard on yourself missy. We all make mistakes. I wish you all the best in 2018
    The Glossychic

    • Missy May
      Author
      January 10, 2018 / 3:31 pm

      You’re right Wendee. I’ve learnt not to now. Thank you and same to you.

  19. January 8, 2018 / 11:00 pm

    I so relate to being that way. Are you a Piscean cos we seem to have those traits in common. With me, what you see is what you get, no hidden agendas or corner. I’m so glad you got a job and it sucks about the whole experience thing with employers. On the flip side, I’m so sorry about that horrible experience. Glad it was rectified. I’ve been burned a few times in my personal life, trust comes with a hefty price for real. Cheers to a no drama year!

    http://www.fashionablyidu.com/

    • Missy May
      Author
      January 10, 2018 / 4:18 pm

      Good to hear that you can relate. Ha!! What you see is what you get, yes to that!!
      Yeah thank God!! It does indeed and I’m watching who I trust for sure. Amen to no drama 2018.
      Thank you beautiful!

  20. January 8, 2018 / 11:12 pm

    So sorry to hear about what the work colleague and the former friend did. Both of those stories sound terrible. But I hope that 2018 treats you better — you deserve it!

    • Missy May
      Author
      January 10, 2018 / 3:32 pm

      Amen to 2018 treating me better and thanks for saying I deserve it.
      Thank you Cheryl!

  21. January 9, 2018 / 1:16 am

    This has been, indeed, a strange year for many of us, and I am sorry for the toll this year took on you. It is good to have your guard up, so you can protect yourself..
    I still, naively perhaps, trust most people most of the time.
    I appreciate that you shared this with us, that means a lot,
    Here’s to better times.
    ❤️❤️❤️
    Elle
    https://theellediaries.com/

    • Missy May
      Author
      January 10, 2018 / 3:59 pm

      It was, but thank God its behind us. I do trust people with a lot of carefulness.
      I appreciate your meaningful contribution, Elle. Means a lot too.
      Amen to better times. Thank you beautiful! 🙂

  22. January 9, 2018 / 1:27 am

    I am sorry you had to go through all this, sis! I respect everybody, but I have a small category of people that I can say I trust. Don’t let other people change who you truly are. Don’t be like them. Just learn your lessons and keep it moving. God put different people in our lives for a reason. We just have to trust the process. I wish you the best for the new year, love!

    • Missy May
      Author
      January 10, 2018 / 4:09 pm

      You’ve a point there and you’re right sis. Noted everything!! I won’t let people’s actions change me. I do appreciate the advice. Thanks very much! Amen!

  23. Katherine Tran
    January 9, 2018 / 3:52 am

    I’m sorry to hear about all that you went through with work and your friend! I’ve been through a similar situation with close friends a couple of years ago and it’s still hard to think about. I hope that things get better this year and you surround yourself with amazing people!

    http://myclusterofthoughts.com/

    • Missy May
      Author
      January 10, 2018 / 4:06 pm

      I guess that’s life Kathrine. Its quite hard I must admit. I pray and hope so too. Amen!
      Thank you beauty!

    • Missy May
      Author
      January 10, 2018 / 3:30 pm

      Thanks Gemma and amen to great 2018.

  24. January 9, 2018 / 4:27 pm

    Love your outlook, lady- here’s to making 2018 the best yet!

    -Ashley
    Le Stylo Rouge

    • Missy May
      Author
      January 10, 2018 / 3:29 pm

      Thanks lady and amen to 2018 being the best year.

  25. January 9, 2018 / 5:11 pm

    I’m so sorry that you had to go through that at work. It’s so unfortunate the length that some people go without first investigating and finding out the truth. Unfortunately, that’s life. I hope you have a great 2018 with good news all the way. In 2017, I learned to trust the process and learn that noone really cares about anything I do except myself. So I try not to expect anything from anyone as much as possible.

    http://www.zinnyfactor.com

    • Missy May
      Author
      January 10, 2018 / 4:03 pm

      Unfortunately that’s life indeed Zinny. Thank God its behind me now.
      That’s a good lesson you’ve learnt there. I’ve also noted that.
      Thanks so much for following up from Instagram. Appreciate the support.

  26. January 9, 2018 / 7:28 pm

    I’m glad 2017 is over. Love your earrings!♥

  27. January 10, 2018 / 8:59 am

    There are several things that we don’t do on purpose but somehow they affect others adversely.
    http://www.ruocn.com/

    • Missy May
      Author
      January 10, 2018 / 4:13 pm

      I suppose you’ve a point there. Thank you!

  28. January 10, 2018 / 12:23 pm

    Dear Missy May, congratulations you stop this habit as I think you definitely live much better without doing that! You look wonderful on this picture!
    xx Rena
    http://www.dressedwithsoul.com

    • Missy May
      Author
      January 10, 2018 / 3:26 pm

      Thank you Rena and noted!

    • Missy May
      Author
      January 10, 2018 / 3:26 pm

      Its all the way up from here Hillory. Happy 2018! Thank you! 🙂

  29. January 10, 2018 / 3:28 pm

    Very touched by your post, thanks for sharing such feelings with us. i do see myself in some things you mentioned. 2017 was a weird year for me too, the best thing definetely my first niece was born, but i had some downs too. Im so sorry for the disapointments you had and i honestly wish you a wonderful 2018, full of peace, love and faith!

    https://strawberryleopard.blogspot.pt/

    • Missy May
      Author
      January 10, 2018 / 4:12 pm

      Glad to hear that you can relate Ana. Aw thank God on your niece. Wonderful!! Its all the way up this year. Amen to peace, love and faith.
      Thanks very much.

  30. January 11, 2018 / 9:20 pm

    I totally get where you’re coming from. I learnt my lesson with friends a very long time ago now, I’m actually getting worried if I’m not overreacting, but seeing your post right now re-ignites the confidence in my decision. Yes, we do please people & sometimes unknowingly too. I vote for me time honey

    • Missy May
      Author
      January 11, 2018 / 10:30 pm

      Good to hear that and yes to me time this year. Thanks beautiful!

  31. January 22, 2018 / 4:10 pm

    I really admire your genuineness and honesty, Mavis! Life has its challenges and we do the best we can. I’m so relieved your persevered through the allegations and proved yourself innocent. I would expect nothing less from you. 🙂 People pleasing is a trait I have too. When it is to the right people, it is appreciated. However, it seems more people take advantage than not. So, I have been slowly pulling away and taking mental notes. Sometimes, you have to put yourself first and it seems like you are on that road too. Here’s to more “me” time in 2018! 🙂

    http://lizzyslatest.com/

    • Missy May
      Author
      January 22, 2018 / 7:32 pm

      I know right Lizzy!? Thank God it is behind me. Good to hear that you can relate with me and amen to “me” time in 2018.
      Thank you so much dear friend. :-))

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